Hey there! Anybody wanna see some hot chicks making out? The Girl is a waste of a movie. It tries to achieve a sense of artsy pretentiousness, but only reaches the level of softcore lesbian pornography. The movie follows a basic path. First, there is anywhere from two to ten minutes of tired exposition. Then, there is anywhere from two to five minutes of the two stars having sex. Then, it loops around and starts again. The plot (what there is of it) is uninteresting, as are the characters, the settings, and everything else about the movie. Why should anybody watch The Girl in the first place when they can get the same thing on late night cable or at the local mom and pop video store for about one dollar?

The Narrator (Agathe De La Boulaye, Jefferson in Paris, Stress) is an artist. The singer at a nightclub (Claire Keim, Feroce, Le Roman de Lulu) entrances her, and they return to the Girl's hotel room to make sweet love. The Girl has never made love to a woman before, and soon scorns the Narrator. Still, the Narrator tarries outside the Girl's hotel, and she soon caves in. Their relationship is one of pure lust. They do not know each other's names, and they do little more than have sex. This is causing problems with the Man (Cyril Lecomte, Les Collegues, Skin of Man, Heart of Beast). He does not want them to have a relationship. He has some hold over the Girl, but it is not clear what this is.

And therein lies one of the problems with The Girl. Writer/director Sande Zeig (Central Park) leaves things so vague that nothing ever emerges. Even after Zeig reveals who the Man is, it makes no sense why he even cares about the Girl's dating habits. The Narrator admits she has no attraction towards the Girl, but still frequently visits. The Girl loves the Narrator, then shuns her, then loves her. The Narrator says little during the film, except for some tepid voice-overs that occur usually after the sex scenes. This leaves Boulaye a passive character for most of the film, staring at Keim. Instead of giving a look of longing or love, she only looks bored. Nevertheless, she must be doing something right, because even will all the nude scenes, she does not appear naked once. The opposite is true for Keim, who literally gives a bare-all performance. The Girl is also a completely French movie. The cast and crew are French, and the movie is based on a story by Monique Wittig, also French. The Girl takes place in France, and it's in English. Why? Again, nobody knows. Besides, for the majority of the people (men) who will see this film, language is of no concern.